I battle with ‘people pleaser syndrome’ & this week, I’ve been forced to put my knowledge into practice in the “Art of saying No” … I know some may laugh, but it truly is a form of art, that has boggled my mind for years.
Until wisdom taught me:
“For every Yes I say to others, I am saying No to myself”
And when I tell you the level of No’s I’ve said to myself, its no wonder my self esteem suffers, when I keep on telling it, “the world and their oysters come before me” 🙅🏽♀️
Im in a season I’ve called “muddy” and if you know me, I DONT do mud, period! but I’m learning to sslllllloooooowwwwllllyyyy 😅 jump in it from time to time and, seeing that it’s okay to say No, to others as in doing so, I’m saying Yes to loving me
(Idols to me = something you worship & worshiping humans to me, makes 0 sense, to give them all that power, I’ve done it & it didn’t end well for me 🤷🏽♀️ so i thought id share my lil lesson life taught me)
In todays society there is a very thin line between Hero’s and Idols..
More often than not we tend to fall into the category of idolising our hero’s. – I blame the dictionary definition 😅
Forgetting that they are human, and when they fall short (cos that’s what humans do)
We instantly cut them off, shut them down and strip them of all to see. #BanCancelCulture
Case in point, 2022 – Will Smith ‘SlapGate’.
Hero’s never ask to be idolised – although some do, but that’s another story altogether. 🤐🙃
So take them off that highest pedestal in your life & mind, that you’ve put them on & remind yourself WHY they are your hero’s in the first place.
What I love about hero’s and why I am a forever fan of Marvel in particular, to pick one – Spiderman – Stan Lee you genius!
Hero’s are human, and humans have flaws.
So the next time one of the people you look up to as a ‘Hero’ falls down, do a self check to see if you are putting them as an Idol, or are remembering that they too, are human just like you.
Remind yourself WHY, maybe it’s the mirror of HOPE that they poured into you, from the positions they’ve been able to climb, to be seen by you and be a positive influence,
which is why you gave them the ‘Hero’ title in your life in the first place
If you still got them… whoever your ‘them’ is… forgive if needed & let go, hug them tight., be present, make a mountain of memories…
There are people all over going through their 1st, 10th or 20th season without their loved ones in their lives.
What I would give to watch a video, or listen to a voice note to hear any of their voices again. …or to even see what kinda young lady she would of grown up to be💛🤗
I always had this feeling that ‘rock bottom’ was something that was the worst thing in the world.
Until recently,
I’m currently embracing how my brain works & I’m initially a very literal thinker. So I began to think about rocks and just how solid they actually are.
Also over how many years they not only survive, but thrive in.
What if we need to hit it, wash away all the gunk, sand etc.
So when we build back up, we are building on something that can withstand the test of time.
An added bonus is some of the finest rocks in this life, have to be hit, carved, mined, and shaped in order to get to see it’s true beauty.
The piece below is inspired by hearing the news about a YouTube Influencer. As much as the news (whether true or not) did shock me. I was more upset by the responses of the world, as my feeds on many different sites were fueled with opinions that are being thrown out as ‘100% facts’
To adjust the lyrics slightly & sing one of my favourite songs:
Society can make us think that we’ve arrived, when in fact our arrival in this new place is just the beginning of a whole new journey. It’s a foreign land. We are going to need a tour guide, a tour map. We are tourists. We haven’t done this before.
I got lost in this thought society tries to implant on us, but I got humbled quickly.
Don’t get caught in the trap – NEVER STOP LEARNING, ALWAYS BE TEACHABLE… it’s in those moments where we’re able to gain wisdom
